Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.