I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You ate ashes out of my bong