I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...