i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.