You really coming over, don't trick.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
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finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
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Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.