shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
