im drinking this country out of the recession.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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