You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
