Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
