i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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