fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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