I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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