Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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