Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize