dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
