You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
