I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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