I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Randomize
