you traded sex for a burrito?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize