you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
