I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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