great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
