It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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