well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you would pick up someone in the library
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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