It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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