this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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