but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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