Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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