Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize