Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Holy sore nipples Batman
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
