Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I would ride that face into the sunset
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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