its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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