I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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