yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
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He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
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No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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