I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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