I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
