ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
