i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
