I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
