Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
