Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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