ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
