Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
