yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Let's get the cat blown out
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize