I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
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i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
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I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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