dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
