You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
