And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
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I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize