what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
