How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize