chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
