im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
