Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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