Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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