I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
